Experiences of non-consensual ‘rough sex’: A pilot UK study

This paper was presented as part of:

Symposium I: Sexual choking/strangulation and rough sex: findings and perspectives from three countries.
Organizer and Chair: Debby Herbenick

Debby Herbenick. Sexual choking and rough sex behaviors among adolescents and adults in the United States
Natasha Mulvihill. Experiences of non-consensual ‘rough sex’: A pilot UK study
Nicola Gavey. Unpacking consent in women’s experiences of unwanted and unenjoyed ‘rough sex’ with men

Background
In the UK, ‘rough sex’ emerged in the late 2010s as a focus of concern in two main spaces. First, within domestic abuse and women’s legal services in relation to criminal cases involving female victims who died as a result of violence inflicted during sex. Separately, yet relatedly, there was concern about the use of non-fatal strangulation as a tool of coercive control within intimate relationships. Campaigning work led to the withdrawal of ‘consent to serious harm for sexual gratification’ as a defence under S.72 of the UK Domestic Abuse Act 2022. Section 70 introduced provisions on non-fatal
strangulation. The second area was in the media. Partly within magazine feature writing (e.g. exploring the impact of Fifty Shades on sexuality and recognising a mainstreaming of kink/BDSM activities) but also within news coverage of (commonly) women sharing experiences of unwanted rough sex. Often these stories were framed within broader concerns about online dating and about access to, and the changing nature of, pornography. These concerns coalesced in the story of Grace Millane, the British young woman murdered in New Zealand by a man she met online. Despite this
attention in media and legal spaces, less is known about everyday experiences of unexpected and unwanted rough sex, which may occur within brief, medium or long term sexual encounters and relationships in the UK. This gap motivated the present study.

Method
Preliminary findings from a pilot UK online survey and focus group, conducted in 2022, will be presented.

Results
Analysis will be presented in relation to: how participants described their experiences of unwanted rough sex; the impact on them in the immediate aftermath and longer term; decisions around help-seeking and disclosure (if relevant); professional responses (if appropriate); to what extent participants feel these harms could/should be addressed through the criminal justice systems or alternative routes; and participant reflections on the term ‘rough sex’, its value and limitations.

Conclusion
In researching experiences of unwanted rough sex, the concern here is not to police sexual taste, to essentialise gendered experiences of sex, or to ignore that human desire is complex and contradictory. Rather, this work focuses on where sexual practices are experienced as coercive and upsetting. It recognises how structural inequalities and cultural forces intersect within intimate spaces and draws on the expertise of individuals to identify what is required for prevention, education, support and – where appropriate – remedy. Implications for educators, support organisations and justice systems, are discussed. This work is currently being written up for publication.